I want sex all the time! What is happening to me?

Dear Yasmine,

My husband and I have a pretty great life, and our sex life is okay. But lately, I’ve been having wild sexual fantasies, and waiting for him to get home so I can “act them out.” He’s excited about my new interest in sex, but I’m wondering, what is going on with my body?  Sometimes I feel like I’m horny the whole day! What is happening to my body? Is this normal? Should I be worried?

Nellie in NYC


Dear Nellie

We’re going to assume that you’re most likely in your late 30’s or 40’s and are having a hormonal surge.  This is a very common occurrence for many women.  Women’s hormones fluctuate all the time and you may be feeling increased sexual desire because your hormones and fertility are beginning to decrease.  Weird right? According to a study by the University of Texas, "Women with declining fertility think more about sex, have more frequent and intense sexual fantasies, are more willing to engage in sexual intercourse, and report actually engaging in sexual intercourse more frequently than women of other age groups," The study authors believe evolutionary forces are what actually push women to be more sexual and to increase occurrence of procreation.

If you find yourself frustrated by the increase sex drive, you can always help yourself! Treat yourself to a new sex toy, some luxurious lubricant and explore your body!  When you’re partner is available, take time to reconnect before jumping on them for sex!

If the idea of being in this state is bewildering because it doesn’t fit with your personality, let go of any stereotypes. You’re not a cougar, you’re not a slut. Instead enjoy this time of your life and your desire and sexuality.  As you continue to advance in age, your drive will fluctuate.   Reconciling with your sexual desire and self-awareness of being a whole, real woman will lead to a more fulfilling, happier life, in and out of the bedroom.