Earlier this year, we had the good fortune of having an audience with the 88-year-old psychosexual therapist and icon, Dr. Ruth Westheimer at the Sexual Health Expo in Los Angeles.
The audience was in complete awe of this powerful woman who stands about 4’7”. Her feet did not touch the ground when she sat in the chair provided for her on the bright, white, stage. The audience sat rapt, as she started her talk. Dr. Ruth continues to have a sharp sense of humor for those of you who have not had the pleasure of reading her books, or have listened to her radio or tv shows. If you like to tweet, Dr. Ruth has an active twitter account, and you can follow her @askdrruth.
Dr. Ruth shared her current findings about sex today. One thing she said that really stuck with Yasmine’s Room, is that more women today are less sexually satisfied than ever before.
Why? Dr. Ruth blames the internet and the easy access to photo shopped images and movies. Women today are bombarded more than ever before, with an increasing number of images from social media to the movies and the porn industry on “What they are supposed to look like, feel like, and what sex is supposed to feel like and look like.” She had a one word answer to this overblown image of women’s sexuality, “Wrong,” she exclaimed to the crowd.
Dr. Ruth went on to explain that above all else, women must get to know their own bodies. They must get in touch with what their bodies need. Every woman, stressed Dr. Ruth, is different and each woman will need to discover what she needs to be satisfied sexually and enjoy an orgasm. Seeing doctored images of women, or over the top sexual performances in movies is detrimental to women’s self-image and sexual confidence. “You have to remember that watching a movie like that is like watching a super hero movie. We know we can’t fly.”
To know what works for you individually, Dr. Ruth urged women to take time, lot of time, to explore and get to know your bodies. “It’s important you know what works so you can teach your partner,” she explained. Teaching your partner will enhance your intimacy and the relationship.
“Sex does not take place between the waist and the knees,” Dr. Ruth explained to the standing room only crowd, “it takes place in the mind. You must connect your mind with your partner before connecting your bodies. Then you will have orgasmic sex.”
Dr. Ruth also prescribed masturbation for everyone. She said vibrators are great for women. She has recommended the Eroscillator for over 30 years.
If you are feeling unsatisfied in your sexual life, here are some tips from Dr. Ruth
1. Take time for yourself and relax.
2. Increase touching! Touch yourself more, touch your partner more. Touch is the first sense we acquire, and the secret weapon in maintaining a successful relationship.
3. Reconnect intellectually with your partner. Dr. Ruth said that sex starts in the mind, take time, with touch, to reconnect with your partner, find out what is going on with them, their interests, and their desires. In this way you can rekindle the attraction!